Patience is a luxury I give myself

Excerpt from April 2019 give glow newsletter.

This month, I reflected on the value of patience, inspired by my lack of patience with going #2 in the bathroom. Yes, I am actually talking about this. Why am I telling you about this? My wish is that whatever you are wishing for, you remember to you give yourself permission to be patient. I have always known that I am not a naturally patient person, but I didn't realize how ridiculously impatient I can be until I find myself getting annoyed in the bathroom when #2 didn't happen within a few minutes of me sitting on the toilet bowl. My annoyance transitioned to worrying about being constipated. Luckily, I caught myself in this negative thought spiral, and told myself to be patient. Once I let go of the pressure to perform and let my body take a moment to register what I was trying to do, it inevitably did what it needed to do. I realize that patience doesn’t only apply in the bathroom. Other areas where I can use some patience include getting a project done, achieving optimal health, or optimal relationship with family members. I am not only impatient about reaching goals, but also impatient about becoming a better person. The inner critic never seizes to expect me to be better than who I am now, and to have my life figured out. I remind myself that the journey matters more than the destination, but my heart seems to be in such a rush to get to the destination. I am practicing patience on the little things, like going to #2 in the bathroom, hoping that the practice on little things will cultivate my patience on bigger things. When I went hiking last weekend, I noticed I am usually the person leading in the front on the way up, and more balanced between leading and following on the way down. Can I be as patient going up as coming down? Won’t that be a more joyful way of being in the world? The most energizing project I am working on right now is developing the curriculum for a leadership series. As I experience the urge to get it done, I remind myself to be patient about letting myself explore different leadership ideas, and waiting for inspiration to arise when it does. It’s important to take the time to make sure I am working on the right things, instead of just making sure something gets done. A case in point: I wanted to write an article on friendship probably more than a year ago, and came up with a formula for friendship more than 6 months ago. I finally got the inspiration to write and completed the article this week. I feel somewhat glad that I procrastinated this long because only in the past month did I realize one crucial element for friendship was missing from my original formula. At least for now, I can rest in peace telling myself that it pays to be patient. My wish for you: Whatever you wish for will come with patience. Question for you: In what areas do you want to give yourself the permission to be patient?

Love, Jennie